all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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