Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
I remember her trying to talk to me a few times after we broke up and I'd always change the subject to bagels.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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