im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
