Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
The neighbors are smoking hash and doing Julia Child impressions...again.
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
I just realized that you're going to be drunk for daylight savings time again. Godspeed.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize