i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Just got biofeeze on my vag. Weirdest sensation everrr. Can't decide if I want to cum or cry
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
