Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
Randomize
