Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize