had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
You need to stop telling people you gained weight over the holidays. You've been fat since July.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
Randomize
