I don't know what I could have possibly done in a past life to deserve watching my boyfriend projectile vomit margaritas and probs blood while completely naked.
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
left comments onEVRY SINGLE1of my posts n status updates.Im done dating freshmen
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
So much Jack, so little girl.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Randomize