I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
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