shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
Randomize
