C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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