I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Randomize
