did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
If we tried baptizing you I feel the water would start boiling around you.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Randomize
