I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
All I remember is your girlfriend laying on the bathroom floor and me crawling in and asking if it was okay to puke.
Randomize
