dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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