I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You stood outside his house all night throwing your sister's leftover Easter eggs and singing 'now you're just somebody that I used to blow'
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
My one night stand just messaged me and said he is praying for me...
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
