My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
