i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Randomize
