It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
Woke up in a sombrero and a males speedo. Tequila makes normal peoples clothes fall off, however it makes me fall into a questionable identity crisis
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
Randomize
