a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
he keeps calling me but I'm too scared to answer... Not sure what he's gonna yell at me for: barging into his room while he was with another girl, filling her shoes with dog food and water, or hiding his keys in the garbage disposal.....
There's a girl sitting in front of me making a PowerPoint on Jack Bauer.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Randomize
