Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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