its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
you win again, gameday.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
I'm fucking a man old enough to be my father who is also dating my boss. What have you done with your life?
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
oh I'm washing fake blood out of my bra.
I NEED to hang out with you more
Valentine's Day is now to be known as Tacos and Orgasms Day.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
