is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
some fat dude with wolverine facial hair just walked out of your room with a snuggie. explanation needed.
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I just made the pizza guy say helicopter six times in order to get his money. Even he knows how stoned we are.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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