I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
Apparently today is power bottom appreciation day
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
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