i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
My mom just said she had more presents to wrap, so I should "smoke some weed & go back to bed"... She really is Santa Claus
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Randomize
