So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
First off: I'm drunk so fuck you. Second: you weren't a bad girlfriend. Tres: thats 3 in spanish. Number 4: fuck 3 Doors Down
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
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