They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
where does the pee come out of this thing
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
Our cab driver looks like Kim Jong il, and you're missing a fascinating conversation about Katie wanting to be carbon dated.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
