Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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