Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
