I can tuck mytits in my pants
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
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