Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
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