She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
We're making herpes jokes very loudly and hoping she notices.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
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