today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
Last night we got home from the bar and saw a fox outside and we lured it in the house with a piece of cheese. Just wanted to party with some potentially dangerous wildlife I guess.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
Her blow jobs are legen wait for it seriously like 9 people I know brag about them dary
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
