Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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