Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
after drinking 6 jumbo margaritas he then proceeded to tell the entire restaurant that he was going to "bust a load in me" when we got home....how do you think the rest of my night went?
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
Randomize
