I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
It's 10am. I'm hungover wearing a flyers jersey and a phillies hat and eating a cheesesteak. I'm not the only one. Best city ever.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
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