We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
Randomize
