It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
You need to stop vomiting in the washing machine, bro. For real this time.
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Randomize