Cold hands, warm shart.
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
