They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
We have started to decorate penises.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Randomize
