I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
PICK ME UP NOW I THINK THIS MOTEL IS A CRIME SCENE. also congrats on your engagement i saw the post on my phone while i was climbing out the window
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize