Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
I woke up this morning and I had the absolutely horrific realisation that I am the human incarnation of scrappy doo
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
