Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
I crawled out his bedroom window, forgetting he lives in a split level and there is a 10 foot drop back there. I had to text him to come help me I twisted my ankle.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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