I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
We were suposed to have a 3some in their bathroom but it just turned into us 2 making out while he watched like a little kid on christmas morning
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
