I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
