I wanna bring you to show and tell
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
u know how some weekends you just wanna go out and ruin a relationship? this is one of those weekends
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Oh my god, my vagina is cursed. He's cursed my vagina so that no one but him can maintain a boner around me. I'm sure of it.
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