We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
