Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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