remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
So then you challenged the bartender to an arm wrestling contest for a free bottle of vodka
Sweet. Did I win?
Youre hungover arent you?
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
Randomize
