Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
I smell of tequila and Im going to a funeral. This is my life.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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