I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
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