Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
