nut hugger
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
wtf are you talking about? You vomit-splattered the cop from the balcony. The cop YOU called because you drunk-dialed 911 because a 5 year old ate the last donut.
it was a krispy kreme
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
haha it's ok, I asked people. I was like "I'm high and lost" and the dude just said "That's my life. Love it."
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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