I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
hey did I tally my arm again of # of shots?
nope, you were tallying rejections at the party
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
just remember the most important rule of taking psychedelics: monsters can't get through blankets
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
