ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
Please tell me the foreign boys in the kitchen this morning were yours.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He pissed on a police station. Then expected to not be arrested. Sounds accurate.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Randomize
