ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
be right there i have to get my cape
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
Randomize
