i'm returning your mother's day gift to finance my alcoholism over the next week.
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Randomize
