week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Randomize
