I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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