I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
