what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
If I die on my trip, you're my chosen person. Nightstand-vibrators. Computer-iphoto naked pictures. I hope you feel honored.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Is there a greeting card for "I can't keep being The Other Woman"?
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
