Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
Right before we were going to have sex he said it was his "lucky condom" I don't know if that means its used or what.. But I'm freaking out either way.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
