Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
Randomize
